100-word fiction: ‘Criminals’

Ah they can ahl ga an fuck emselves eh. They wuz ahlwez on the mayk anywez an if ye believed they wuz in it fer you then ye wuz an idiot eh cuz they’re ahl fuckn cunts. Divvent matter which wun uv em ye fuckn shout for cuz they’re ahl the fuckn same. They sit torkn their shite on TV eh an nut answerin questions an there’s a game where th’interviewer pritends they’re bein ard and interupptin but it nivver matters eh cuz it’s ahl sorted and wrapped up. Wuss thn criminals eh the fuckn lorra thm. Wuss thn criminals.

‘Wicked’: a 100-word story

WICKED

The man in the costume hire shop frowned at her.
It’s got to be the right one, she said.
But witches are all similar.
It’s important.
I’m sorry. I can’t guarantee it.

*       *       *

There were thousands of people along the road.
Have a can, said Matty.
We shouldn’t.
Yeah we can. It’s a special occasion.
You serious?
I’m dressed as a lion; how can I be serious?

Riot shields, guns, armoured cars and horses. If it wasn’t the Wicked Witch Of the West then there was no point dressing up. A man punched the sky. She felt like she might cry.