Even as the children danced and eyes were filled with tears of joy; even as hearts swelled with pride; even as the crowds clapped and cheered; even as the plaudits flowed; even as the hyperbole swelled and the superlatives thundered and the fireworks lit up the sky; even as a nation rejoiced; even as the world watched: they were busy sneering; burying their hands in their pockets; turning a blind eye; out on a limb, not having the stomach; cutting back staff; pulling away beds; dismantling the letters N, H and S, plunging the needy into a long dark night.
“If in doubt… leave it out. That’s what they say. They mean, if in doubt… abandon. Resist. Take your leave. Disengage. Only fight the battles you can win. History only remembers a winner. These are the maxims of success. It’s a money, time, success thing – a ratio of sorts. If there was a policy of abandonment, rather than a policy of struggle, then the electorate would not see the party as struggling. A small success is better than a great failure. There’s nothing immoral about being modest. So let us abandon health, education, welfare, Europe, as we intended abandoning Liverpool.”
How to get the austerity chic look!
Step into this season’s austere fashions by correcting your posture on fiscal deficit. Reduce the appearance of fine tax credits for lower-income earners and plump the riches of the richest. Slip into something less comfortable by removing housing benefit and public services. Look edgy with the latest must-have increases in NHS waiting lists. Remember, DIY rules, so try making your own school or hospital. And if you’re older, adopt the ‘cold-face’ complexion trend by removing all traces of winter fuel allowances – and add a bored expression simply by turning off your TV.